|INSPIRE ME PAGE 2
"A MEETING BY MOONLIGHT
A VERBAL SERENADE"
The following is a dedication of sorts, all of what I write has in someway been inspired by those I have met. Some of you will recognize yourselves here, and I hope you realize just how much you mean to me.
Thank You Friends
A SPECIAL THANKS TO MY CONFIDANTS FOR THE INSPIRATION
AND TO CRICKET... YOU HAVE HELPED ME MORE THAN YOU KNOW
AND TO MY FRIEND AND MENTOR "LAUDI"-YOU HAVE TAUGHT ME WELL
WHAT YOU MEAN TO ME
There is a place inside of me I keep from all the world, a special, precious place indeed filled with diamonds, emeralds and pearls.
And each time that I am alone you see I think of all the gems, for friends are just that special to me, and in my heart I remember them.
For they have kept the chill from me, and warmed the winters cold, so special are the souls of those whose laughter leads me home.
And as I gaze admidst the stars, I see them once again, they sparkle in the midnight sky and talk with me as friends.
And in the breeze their voices call, so soft within the wind, they whisper to me of yesterday and it takes me back to them.
I know the one's so close to me as the jewels of heavens gate, for I learned from them the best of things, of love, and laughter and fate.
And should I lose but one of these, my heart would surely break, each one has lit my path you see through all of life's charades.
For life would not mean as much to me if I had not known all of them, and I would not be the person you see, if I lost even one of them.
ALONE BUT NOT LONELY
As I sit in the silence of the night, and listen with my heart, I can feel the soft rhythm of your song across this valley that separates us.
In this calm of the evening air, I sense that you are there, alone, watching and listening, for only those who truly hear can join in the song of the soul.
As I breathing deeply, I can sense your warmth and tenderness, and it comforts me in the chill of moonlit shadows.
For companions of the soul are precious lights that shine in the night sky, closing my eyes, I bask in the warmth of your smile soft upon my skin.
As I reach out into the darkness, your love takes hold of my hands, pulling our hearts closer still as our thoughts dance in the heavens above.
Vast is the distance that separates our song, yet we sing as one with the rhythm of our hearts, and our souls are forever joined in the dance of life.
Upon the midnight hour across the span of time,
Two souls reach out across the sea and fingers do entwine.
To touch your heart, your mind, your thoughts and know that they were mine,
If only for one silent hour this cup was filled with wine.
But as the dark embraces dawn the sleep will leave my eyes,
And yet somehow the dream remains for you are on my mind
If I could take your pain away,
I'd give my soul to try.
If I could bring a smile once more, your lips I'd touch to mine.
If all the thoughts could be erased and pages turned back in time, then all the world would be once more and your heart would be as mine.
Now darkness veils the eyes I see, sadness fills my mind, for this love was once, and is no more, forever in our lives.
Speak to me the days of lore and legends that have been,
When hero's strived and brave men died for the sorrows of their sins.
Tell me now of fairy tales, when magic filled the air,
Of dragon wings and wizard's dreams and castles built with care.
Teach me still of life and love and secrets of the heart,
For these are things of which I dream, and you are much a part.
Listen now and learn from me, these secrets I will share,
Of wonderings and wanderings and the mysteries in the air.
For these will be what all souls seek, though precious few will dare,
The balance rings of truthful things, you will find the center there.
I see a place inside of you that leans so close to me.
And in this place I wish for you more happiness to be.
For friends are of a brotherhood a thing of sacred trust.
And always in my heart you see this closeness is with us.
For you have been as one with me, in a mirror I see you thus.
This reflection of the soul I see is love so sweet and just.
But hidden from the world it be, till someone comes to knock.
Then graciously you take them in, and the chill is forever lost.
For nothing sustains the soul you see as warmth from loves sweet fire.
And this is what I see in you, my friend, my love, my pyre.
My first love as a child had always been the outdoors, I have often felt that nature and I are as one, and being surrounded with all of creation has a way of bringing out the best in me. So out through the fields I walked, breathing the fresh air, in stride with the rhythm of the earth, giving me a sense that, it was good to be home. Through open meadows I wandered and feeling all of the energy that the untouched beauty offered. Crossing through a narrow stand of pines, I entered into a small clearing that rose into a hill, my favorite place.
Reaching the top I could see all the woods and meadows and just below at the foot of the hill, was a large pond, where one stately birch resided. I sat down and for a few moments, simply gathered the view I had found in my own private part of the world. Listening with all of my senses and knowing "I was alone." A slight breeze came across the water and gently tussled my hair, and whispered in my ear. Breathing deep I could taste the crispness in the air that told me that summer was indeed over, and winter would not be far away.
The warm sun and cool air had a dreamy effect on me this day, so I lay back in the deep clover, closing my eyes and feeling the land wrap me in it's loving arms, yes, it was good to be alive. As my thoughts wandered, I took myself back to when I was a child, finding the same wonder and comfort in the silence as I was now. Feeling all of God's love and not having to go farther than my back yard really. As I dozed, I felt the lifting of all my thoughts, as if I had only to sleep to allow the troubles of life to be washed away by time and the grounding elements of nature. It was in these times that I felt my heart would burst from the happiness I felt and often I knew, these times with God were special to me,,, for I was a child once again, I was free.
Sitting up I wrapped my arms around my knees, slowly focusing my eyes on that one silent birch, yes we were the same this one and I, forgotten and often unseen, except when a kindred heart happens upon us. Observing the world around us, only the inaudible beat of our souls to announce each others presence in this life and only the sway of the wind would have us acknowledge the passing of time in this world.
Standing up I stretched my hands far above my head as if to match this equal of mine in height, tipping my head back I gazed into the warm sun, I could feel God's hands reach down to me. Smiling I closed my eyes once again, and I drew the heavenly warmth deep into my soul.
Ah, indeed, it is good "to be" alive.
There are times in one's life, that we reach what I refer to as refraction points along the way. A place where we change direction and pass from one path unto another, points of accumulation in which we often reflect on what has brought us to a certain place in time. It is at these moments even hard to say whether the focus and reflection should be on that which has brought us in this direction or the refraction itself, to ponder that which has been, or that which will surely be. Life itself is a journey, from the very highest of aspirations to the tortured silence of sadness, most of which we take in stride, addressing issues that are easily filed away as future memorandums to carry us past the pitfalls else we find every pebble in our path. Others however are, life shaping events, soul shaking realities that form a refraction point. These points may seem at times like rewards or ultimatums from the universe telling us that we are now in a place of change, no going back or revisiting but a time of decision. A preemptive demand that is unavoidable and will forever change the course of our next step into destiny.
You see, it is now that I have found myself once again at a refraction point in my life. The path leading here was unnoticed for quite some time, seems I had paid so much attention to avoiding the pebbles that I did not see the pitfall, or perhaps I reached a level of indifference thus making the pitfall inevitable and self induced. This refraction is somehow different than others though, I classify this as one of those soul shaking realities for I find myself looking back across the span of my life. From the earliest of memories up to even this second as I form these words, never before have I been aware of the depth with which I have rooted my existence in the world. And even now I feel, that this time I must evaluate with care all the factors leading me to this path.
My life has been blessed with so many revelations of ecstasy and yet balanced by events that equaled the tearing of the heart. Rewards of life's pleasures tempered by the sanctions of life's losses, these are now the events I find myself pre-occupied with, and still I am at a loss as to the next step. Of what value are these memories, are they the anchors of time that hold fast in the torrent of emotional waters or the portent of the final wave that will take me under. Are my fears based upon lessons well learned or apprehension of a future I cannot see?
Unfortunately, hind sight is 20/20, and God in all his graces did not find it necessary to bless us with an exact knowing. Thus I find myself at a refraction point, knowing full well that I must change direction, bend willingly, and move forward with my life. Taking in stride all that I have been, and incite the desire to be even more than I would have dared. Always knowing in my heart that in the worst of seas, I am able to tread the waters of time. For I know that whatever path I choose this time, I will draw upon the wisdom of times past. Then, when I am ready to set sail, God will surely grant me safe passage, and His hand will be firmly upon my shoulder to guide me. Upon tranquil waters I will drift towards a new shore.
THE KISS MY LOVER BRINGS
My eyes focus on the soft flesh that lingers ever near, breath to breath that speaks in soft tones such that no words can explain the quiver that my soul does feel.
Wet with the chaste dew of love I touch thee slowly as to taste thee with my mouth, the savor likened to that of newborn wine as you linger on my tongue.
Closing mine eyes I bear the passions of my lovers lips molding to mine, ever close with no end to the depth my lover seeks to find the chambers of my heart.
Deeply I drink of my love, for he doth sustain my spirit with
forbidden fruits that have not dwelt within my heart yet now is set upon my mind.
Shared desires release in me pyre's that rage upon my flesh, and spent I am left weak within the cradle of my lovers arms.
Oh aching of my thirst subside quenched by pure waters that flow amidst the fever, thou hast quelled the timeless longings I felt abide.
Softer still, as embers cool by the moonlight that plays in my
lovers eyes and gentle be thy touch upon my soul that trembles in the silence of your shadow.
A LOVERS TRYST
Stretch forth thy heart that I may be healed; lay my head upon thy chest that I may embrace your soul.
So gentle will you be as not to break my bruised heart for tender be the touch of my lovers hands upon my breasts.
Let this night unfold, as I taste of the innocence of loves first
longings, that I may pleasure my lover as no other.
These stirrings I feel with the rhythm of thy loins as I succumb to loves final thrust that leaves me weak amidst the scent of my lovers essence.
Thy kisses sweet upon my brow as the guardian of my dreams, in thine embrace I feel so safe and I pray I will know thee again.
Thy breathe upon my cheek calms the trembling of my flesh; softly thy whisperings lull me to a slumber as I have not slept before.
THE RHYTHM OF MY HEART
There are many times in our lives, that we have the opportunity to meet such unique people. Those who enter and leave a part of themselves with us, and then silently pass out of our lives again, most never to be seen or heard from again though they have left something of great value with us, a word of comfort, a smile to remember. I find it odd how sometimes; we find another in the world, who seems to fit so comfortably into our heart, as if that particular place had been reserved all along, just waiting for the arrival of that special person. Seems we drift through most of life, and never take notice, or even felt, that there was someone missing perhaps. Someone who, we know is there I suppose, but we never fully focus on the thought of them somehow, until they arrive in our life. And when they do, it makes us wonder, how could I have missed this one, this parallel soul and not have realized it? They enter so easily it would seem, and are familiar to us though we have known them not, and they move with a certain rhythm through our hearts. And it is from that moment on, that they have forever change us.
As I sit here in the evening hours, I watch the candle light and drift into thoughts of you. The flame flickers and fans its brightness, much the same as you have brightened a part of my life. It was you that wandered into my heart and forever changed the rhythm. Though we have not known each other long, looking back I cannot remember when it was that I noticed the change. And now, it is hard to imagine the future without you, for you are part of me now. I can feel you inside me as I linger on thoughts of you, and the smile you have given me will always be a reminder of your tenderness.
For I know, we live in different worlds, but we share the same heart, that memory will always lead me back to you. I will find you again; I need only follow...
"the rhythm in my heart."
THE SPECTRE ode to "LAUDI"
Within the darkness of sorrows' hour, beneath the autumn moon, I hide amidst the rustic leaves kissed with a midnight dew.
Silently I wait to catch, a glimpse of one so rare. The sullen wolf who stalks the night in search of love so fair.
He crosses through the brook so cool to find the meadows edge. His journey ends with what had been, but now is lost to him.
He sits alone against the stone as if it were a chair, whispering aloud with his head bowed down as if someone was there.
When he left, I followed the steps that lead him often there. I searched the ground and there I found the stone he keeps with care.
As I read my heart can see the love that binds him there, for etched in stone I read the poem of the secret that he bears;
Beloved wife of all my life, my laudanum, your wolf is near.
THE CLOSING OF THE HEART
It has occurred to me that as we carry on our lives, there are times when with out effort, chambers of our hearts are opened. Dwelling places that are innumerable, and that the size is not of exact dimensions, but rather created from emotion and forever expandable to meet what ever the requirement. When I ponder this aspect, I am amazed at the ability of the heart to absorb so many inhabitants. Aside from my family, whom have a lifetime lease of their particular ventricles, I think of all the people I have come to know. Some for but a short time and others that have become lifelong residents, for I carry them with me always. Endless are the chambers of my heart, and in the quiet times, those times when we all reflect back on those who wander in and out of our lives, I flip through the chambers of my heart like an old worn photo album. Page after page of emotions, and always, I find one that had escaped my memory, lost beneath the years, but always present would I but search a bit longer. Within the various rooms, there are distant reminders of the moments shared, a song, a laugh, the tears and alas the sorrows. Emotions pinned to the walls like indexes, never to be forgotten. Oh the edges might be worn, and the reminders a bit faded, but always in the heart, the emotion remains. The feelings that dwell here may lose the words to describe the moment, but the heart has made a permanent recording, and we need only to access the room to "feel" what was. It has also occurred to me, that as we carry on our lives, there are times when we feel the need to perhaps, minimize a room. To compact the emotions and put them safely away, not to forget them or to ignore them, but simply let them age. Feeling that somehow, with enough time, and a fresh outlook, we could possibly sieve the layers of emotions keeping only that which we wished to remain. For as time and wine, perhaps so also we could parallel the heart. But then, what of the end times? Those times when for whatever reason, we find that we must close a part of our heart, that was there for so long? Is this possible and if so, how do we begin to go about the process? Are we ever aware of the beginning, or do we merely catch up with the emotion when we realize the time has come? Alas, this is where I have found myself. Turning pages, and avoiding this room for the process overwhelms me, for to close this chamber is like "the closing of the heart". To painful to go forward, and to painful to keep, and to difficult to know where to place those possessions which remain here in this chamber. Surely I could ignore this one room, but I know that unlike the others, this one will not gather dust and webs. Created from love that once burned bright it now lingers on the edge of a dying candle's last gasp for air. And with it, I feel, an uncertain emptiness in the loss of it. The time has come, and I cannot deny nor delay that which I feel is approaching. For I know, in my mind, this is the ending of a chamber, and with it comes the closing of my heart.
I MISS YOU
As I sit here in the silence, you often cross my mind.
I can feel your arms around me, in the quiet of the dawn.
And in the mist I wander, down paths with you again.
I picture us together, walking hand in hand.
And in my heart I feel, the love you give to me.
It warms me in the morning dew, that drips softly from the leaves.
I close my eyes and see you, standing next to me.
Your eyes are deep with wonder, and a smile you bring to me.
I smell the sweet surrender, of the breath that touches me.
And kiss the lips of passion, beneath the autumn trees.
You hold me closer to you, and chase the chill away.
To snuggle neath your chin, will take my cares away.
Always in my soul, I pretend you are here to stay.
For sadness will surround me, if I believe it not this way.
Often is this feeling, that your love carries me away.
And there is nothing that I'd rather think, than thoughts of you this day.
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This site is a work in progress as there are many poems to sort through and many more yet to write. So do check back from time to time as i periodically update.
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